Friday Hound Blogging

OK, so you're probably thinking yesterday's tea bagger attack on Washington was the day's big news. We can understand that what with the chants of Keep the government out of my Medicare, the attempts to say the Pledge of Allegiance and the confusion of the Constitution with the Declaration of Independence and all.

The informed electorate acting in concert to speak truth to power. The American Way.

The Auschwitz thing was a nice touch too.

So we can understand if you missed the real story of the day: The million overlord march on Madison.

Employees of Kenosha's Dairyland Greyhound Park are doing what they can to save the dog racing track from shutting down. In fact, they walked the halls of the state capitol in a rally of support for the facility. "And a bathroom," said one protester. "I really needed to find a bathroom."

Actually the impact of the event was somewhat blunted by the fact that about a half hour into the protest the overlords were told they were actually walking the halls of the Dane county courthouse directly across the street from the State Capitol Building. "Nobody told us Madison was the county seat as well as the state capitol." said one protester. "Can they do that?"

Just another level of government bureaucracy, Mr. overlord protester, sir. We're sure Obama is behind this somehow. The good news is the legislature isn't going to do you that much good anyway. You've got to go to the people with the power--the racing commission--just like the overlords in Massachusetts did.

A year to the day after Massachusetts voters approved a ban on dog racing by passing ballot Question 3, the Raynham dog track went before the state Racing Commission at Raynham Town Hall seeking a permit to run 269 races in 2010. "We're hoping they haven't been reading the papers," said one hopeful track representative. "Maybe they don't know about the vote yet."

After an abbreviated discussion, the board voted 2-1 to reject the application, citing incomplete paperwork and an unwillingness to go against the Jan. 1 law against greyhound racing.

D'oh! Another overlord strategy foiled by people who can read.

But what's this about incomplete paperwork? You'd think with their free ride on the backs of innocent animals on the line they could at least fill out the forms right. What's up with that?

Application fees totaling $3,600 and $250,000 in surety bonds, along with the track’s financial statements were left out of the application.

Well, in our defense we really don't have financial statements, being broke and all," Raynham Park General Manager Gary Temple said. The track’s filing was intentionally unfinished in order to save money “and hope something comes out of the courts.”

Let's see if we've got this. The strategy is to waste the racing commission's time while looking for a judge who was dropped on his head as a child. Multiple times. Does that about sum it up?

Despite a warning that the application would be denied, the racing commission allowed proponents and opponents to debate the request for holding races in 2010. "Nothing good on the tee vee that night," said one commissioner who asked not to be identified.

Temple said the effort was a final attempt to save the 300 remaining track employees, “the people that have worked seven days a week, every day of the year, to make our business operate.” When asked why employees weren't allowed time off, Temple replied "Who do you think we are, Wal-Mart?"

Track owner George Carney attended the meeting but chose to lock himself in the bathroom and refuse to come out and have Temple and his public relations people talk with the media. "Hope he took a sandwich in with him," one reporter said.

Well, there is a window in there and if he has his cell he can call for take out, right Braden?

Braden is very friendly and very curious, and he craves lots of attention. He likes to smell everything over and over again. He is affectionate. He will approach for pets and lean against his foster family. He is starting to play with toys and he loves to play with the family dog. When he is sleeping, he breathes out through his mouth and his lips slap together like a horse. Braden is a three-year old puppy. He gets very bouncy and excited when he sees the leash come out, but will ‘get back’ and settle down when asked to. He is a Second Chance at Life Dog from the Coldwater Prison Program. Braden would do well in a working family home with well-mannered children, 6 and up. He is good with other dogs and would probably be fine as an only dog.For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

And if you 'd like to know more about the good work the Second Chance at Life program is doing for the dogs, and the prisoners, go here.

Republicans! Motto: We Even Say "No" To Our Own Candidates

Hey what? Today is election day. You mean Obama is allowing another election? What kind of socialist, fascist, Muslim terrorist, left handed move is that?

Well, we have to assume that this totally caught the republicans off guard, assuming as they probably did that they would be in re-education camps by now, or brought before death panels staffed by atheist pro-abortion ACORN workers.

Brilliant Comrade. Your alien masters in Kenya will be most pleased. Let's see what sort of mischief you've perpetrated.

Republican Dede Scozzafava has suspended her bid in the NY 23 special election, a huge development that dramatically shakes up the race. She did not endorse either of her two opponents -- Conservative party candidate Doug Hoffman or Democrat Bill Owens.

Bwaaahahahaha! Fly my pretty, fly! The evil witch of the West Wing is upon you.

OK, warlock of the West Wing. Got a little carried away there. Still, losing their candidate couldn't have set well with the republican leadership back in Mordor.

Some of the most prominent names in national Republican Party politics are lining up against the GOP nominee in a key upstate New York House special election, the latest being former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum. In endorsing Conservative Party nominee Doug Hoffman in the Nov. 3 contest, Santorum joined former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, former House Majority Leader Dick Armey, Minnesota Rep. Michelle Bachmann, former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson, and former presidential candidate Steve Forbes, all of whom announced their backing for the conservative third-party candidate this week. Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty suggested that he might be the next well-known Republican to break with the party establishment and support Hoffman.

Oh cry us a river republican overlords, just...wait a minute...what? The republican party isn't supporting the republican candidate?

Oh, comrade, Imam Obama, you have truly. messed. these. dudes. up. All their base are belong to you. Republicans, take off every ZIG!!

Scozzafava can point to many other prominent conservatives who support her bid—including former House Speaker Newt Gingrich

Oh. Darn. Got a little crazy there ourselves we guess. Well, leave it to the Newtster to bring sanity back to the process. Too bad Chairman O. Try again if you dare. Newt's republican mojo cannot be defeated.

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who came under fire from some conservatives for endorsing Dede Scozzafava in next week's special Congressional election in New York, is now backing Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman.

BWAHAHAHAHA!! You have no chance to survive make your time.

Friday Hound Blogging

Now, generally we don't read the comments to our posts because, frankly you folks are FREAKIN' WEIRD!

We kid.

Actually we do take a jaunt through your thoughts from time to time, but, as you may surmise, researching, planning, composing, editing and revising the posts that appear before you each time is exhaustive work and takes much of our energy and attention.

Or we could just make the whole thing up, then break out the Stoli.

We'll leave that particular determination to you. Our point is that in a recent foray into the fecund jungle of comments we discovered that we have upset overlord Doug Pizzi of the group fighting to keep greyhound racing a continuous drain on the finances of the state of Massachusetts.

We can certainly understand the nature of Mr. Pizzi's distress. We mean, here he is, trying to save an unprofitable and inhumane institution with a long history of pain , suffering and loss in the state and we come along and point out that right next door in Rhode Island, they're doing everything they can to get out from under the crushing financial burden that Mr. Pizzi is working so hard to preserve.

A financially troubled slot parlor seeking bankruptcy protection will pay $5 million as it attempts to end the last greyhound races in Rhode Island because the sport is costing the track money, attorneys said. "Actually we'd pay pretty much anything to get these losers out of here so we can get slots," the attorney added.

Perhaps Mr. Pizzi has made a tactical error. He's fighting to keep unit exploitation going in Massachusetts, while in Rhode Island, they're paying to make it go away. Food for thought there, Mr. Pizzi sir. Just saying.

“If the settlement agreement is approved, it completes a key step towards enhanced financial viability of the facility, helping to preserve key revenue for the state of Rhode Island,” Twin River spokeswoman Patti Doyle said in a written statement. "The more distance we can put between us and dog racers, the better chance we have to make this place a go," she added.

Again, seeing an emerging theme here Mr. Pizzi?

As part of the deal, Carcieri asked state lawmakers to repeal a law forcing Twin River to offer 125 days of greyhound racing. Wagering on the races has plummeted from $150 million in 1990 to $13 million.

In case you're wondering, Mr. Pizzi, $13 million is less than $150 million. Way less. Shoot, even you can figure that out, huh Dream?

Dream is a friendly, easygoing boy. He likes to hang out wherever people are in the house. He gets excited when people come home, but calms quickly. He is a bit of a thief and likes to sneak bits of laundry or towels and prance around the house with them to show his foster family he has found something he thinks is special. Dream has a glossy black coat with reddish tones in it—he is a very handsome boy and will make someone very happy! He is a Second Chance at Life Dog from the Coldwater Prison Program. Dream would do well in a working family with well-mannered children, 10 and up. He is good with other dogs and would probably be fine as an only dog. He needs to be in a single family home, as he is a little vocal when first left alone. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

And if you 'd like to know more about the good work the Second Chance at Life program is doing for the dogs, and the prisoners, go here.

South Carolina! Motto: Hey, We're No Crazier Than The Scientologists

What is it about South Carolina? We mean, this state has been Bonkazoid Central almost since before it was a state. They were the last state to let voters actually, you know, vote; then there was that whole nullification thing, followed by Fort Sumter--or Sumpter which may have marked the historical beginning of the wingnuts love/hate relationship with spelling--then after Honest Abe laid the smackdown on the rebels, South Carolina conveniently forgot to enfranchise over 400,000 free blacks, the largest number of any formerly confederate state.

Fifteenth Amendment? Oh, you were serious about that? OK, our bad.

And do we have to tell you about Governor Mark "Appalachian Tail" Sanford, or Joe "Who needs medication?" Wilson?

Didn't think so.

So now we have deputy assistant attorney general Roland Corning who recently fled from police in a car full of sex toys and a stripper.

Or, as they call it in South Carolina, lunch.

Corning, a former state legislator, was in a secluded part of a downtown cemetery when an officer spotted him, according to a police report. The officer stated that he decided to ignore the "If this van is a rockin' don't come a knockin'" bumper sticker when he heard a male voice shouting "Who's your prosecutor now baby! Come on say it! Say it!"

As the officer approached, Corning sped off, then pulled over a few blocks away when an inflatable sheep obstructed the his view. He and the 18-year-old woman with him, an employee of the Platinum Plus Gentleman's Club, gave conflicting stories about what they were doing in the cemetery. "Mr. Corning insisted he had brought the woman to the cemetery as part of a historical tour of famous South Carolina dead people who like to schlup the darkies," Officer Michael Wines wrote. "The woman said they were playing gravedigger and the lonely widow."

Corning gave Wines a badge showing he worked for the state Attorney General's Office. Wines, whose wife also works there, called her to make sure Corning was telling the truth.

Ruh Ro. That can't be good.

Corning and the woman were let go without charges.

Well, of course they were let go without charges. In South Carolina, fleeing from the police is allowed as long as you don't endanger public safety by driving with an inflatable sheep blocking your view. It's a well known state statute.

Wines' wife reported the call to her supervisor, who told Attorney General Henry McMaster.

Pesky wimmins. See, we told you the Nineteenth Amendment was a bad idea, which is why it wasn't ratified in South Carolina until August 22, 1973.

"We received credible information about inappropriate behavior" McMaster said. "And by the close of business, he was no longer working here." Such a trip to the cemetery "would not be appropriate, at any time, for an assistant attorney general," McMaster said. "Why do you think they make motels?"

Well, that is a point sir.

In a related story, the Platinum Plus Gentleman's Club announced they had hired a new corporate counsel.

Scientology! Motto: Hey, We're No Crazier Than The Mormons

In the spirit of the impending All Hallows Eve we're coming to you today from the Department of Couch Exorcism. The DoCE is a wholly owned subsidy of the When Good Actors Make Bad Movies Corporation, a Division of the Evil Warrior Demons LLC.

And what, in this season of ghosts and goblins could have caught our eye, you ask? Was it the angel or the demon, the pirate or the nurse, the law enforcement officer, the witch, the fairy, the...uh...where were we?

Oh yeah, Churches. It seems the Church of Scientology has "hit a rough patch."

Right, so we're thinking how could things get worse for a "Church" whose central tenet is that Xenu, the dictator of the "Galactic Confederacy" brought billions of his people to Earth in a spacecraft 75 million years ago, stacked them around volcanoes and killed them by making them watch reruns of Welcome Back Kotter?

Now, before we go on, for those of you getting out the phonebook and looking for the nearest Scientology location, that's XenU, not XenA, although truth be told, we always like Gabrielle better. Mmm...Gabby we've been very very bad. Why don't you bring that stick over here and..What? Oh, sorry. Lost our train of thought. Is it hot in here?

What was our point? Oh, yeah, how things could get worse for a church whose major deity is a cartoon character. Well, being declared a fraud by French judges for one, although you'd think that would be a little anti-climatic after the volcano thing, but it appears the judges were not amused by some of the church's practices:

The judge in Paris ordered the Church of Scientology to pay a €600,000 fine (roughly US$900,000) and sentenced its French leader to two years in prison along with a €30,000 fine (US$44,000) for "organized fraud." France refuses to acknowledge the group as a religion and views it as a profit-generating commercial organization.

Say what you will about them Frenchies, they know a profit-generating commercial organization when they see one. That's why Ken Copeland and Joyce Meyer have never been to France.

And as for "organized fraud?" Well, nobody does it better than Deus Pater. Just ask Rowan Williams. He got an offer he couldn't refuse.